Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Male Pattern Baldness aka DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!

There was a time...a time that doesn't seem too long ago...that I had hair.

I mean, a lot of hair.

Senior year at Howard U., circa 2003

Then, due to the pressures of conforming to a look that was deemed acceptable by the man (sidebar: if you find that jive turkey, tell him I'm looking for him...), I got a haircut. It wasn't the dreaded look that I had grown to love, but I rocked either a fade or tapered bush quite nicely.

Corporate World Cut, circa 2005

Then...year after year...the hair got thinner - rapidly thinner - forcing the haircuts to get lower and lower...until finally...there was no hair.

Getting My Grown-Man On, circa 2008

No doubt - I hated realizing that I was going bald. Dreaded it.

No pun intended.

I tried to ignore the warning signs. As mentioned, I tried to camouflage it by getting the haircuts lower. However, there was no denying the inevitable. Hell, my Pops is bald so I should have known better.

Sure, folks will lie and tell you, "It's determined by your mom's side of the family." Bullsh*t. All of them jokers still have a head a hair with no signs of push back. No, 'tis I in this lonely club with myself, my father, my cousin - on my dad's side of the family - and one of his brothers (the other still has a full head of hair...grrr!).

The point of all of this, though, is not the fact, that I'm bald, but the fact that maintaining a nice bald look is WAY harder than having dreads, a perfectly manicured fade (shout out to the late 80s!), or any other crazy style that I've been fortunate to rock. Hell, I have to cut my whole head every other day with clippers to keep it clean (BTW, tried this with my T-edgers and I went through two blades in three months - DAMMIT!), or I spend $25 a week to get my barber (gotta get that $20 appointment...plus tip) to cut it where it looks nice Friday through the following Monday and then a bit rough on Tuesday through Thursday before doing it all over again.

After going through $100 a month, I tried to go the ultra-cheap route and buying one of those Mach 7 razors or whatever the hell they advertise them as. I knew I was taking a chance because every time (since puberty, anyway...) that I have placed a razor to my face, I have broken out in bumps, but I thought, "Well, if I moisturize before, during, and after shaving, I should be fine!").

WRONG!

Sure enough, my head was, indeed, as smooth as a baby's bottom (insert that *whew* whistle) for two days...and then it bumped-up like a mother****** on the sides and the back of my head (but not my face - WTF!?) for about a week...just nasty-like!

So, I threw the razor, the shaving gel, and the after shave moisturizer away!

For some foolish reason, I thought keeping my head looking straight would get easy once I began rocking a dome. No one warned me that this would be one of the most frustrating things I encounter on damn near a daily basis.

While we search for cures for all types of ailments and diseases, I long for a day when there is a cure for Male Pattern Baldness. If there was such a research fund to end this travesty that affects so many people (men and women!), I would, without a doubt, donate to it...if a large percentage of my discretionary was not already going towards my clipping.

Matter of fact, I hope that he can fit me in this Friday.

That's My Sister!

My sister represented for her company on this video they produced for Yellow Pages dot com. She's at the 36-seconds remaining mark of the video...you can't miss her. She's very appealing to the eyes so when you see her you'll instantly be mesmerized.

Yes, that is a family trait of ours.

Check out the video here.